edited June 11, 2021

WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR MARRIAGE?

Winifred Wylie is seven years younger than I, and was age 83 at the wedding. I was almost 91. We had been living together for several months prior to the wedding. My son, Lloyd (who was Best Man at the ceremony) observed that Winnie was already showing some dementia at the wedding, in that returning to Ann Arbor, she could not remember which of her two houses we had been living in. The main anomaly I saw was that she occasionally asked me, “Are we married?” Also, she frequently became disoriented while driving, and would sometimes go the wrong way.  One time she drove alone to a TS meeting in Detroit and reported that on the way home got lost. However, she reoriented herself and got home OK. The condition was slowly worsening, and on two occasions she was examined by our primary care physician, Dr. Mark Leventer in Grass Lake, Michigan. He opined that it was not serious enough to warrant a formal evaluation by a specialist. However, there were other issues, namely personal hygiene, bathing and clothes.

Winnie and I had formed the Wylie-Standish Revocable Trust for her assets, and appointed David Bland as primary trustee. All of the initial assets of the Trust were from Winnie. 

I also had known David for quite a few years. He planned to sell all of Winnie’s property, with the proceeds going into the trust. Winnie’s will specified that all of the assets would be donated to the Theosophical Society in America. I was part of the trust, and my family heirs were then to receive 1/3 of the assets. This explanation may not be 100% correct, but it makes no difference to this story of what happened to our marriage.

For the winter of 2019-20 we rented a house in Dunedin, Florida.

We engaged a young woman to be personal caregiver for Winnie, primarily for personal hygiene. I will call her "Jane."

Jane helped me some too. I trusted Jane and gave her the password to my computer, because she frequently deposited checks electronically for me. Soon Jane changed her status, to work directly for David Bland, and did not depend at all upon either Winnie or me for direction.

Early in Jane’s employment with us, she was very affectionate and told both Winnie and me that she loved us. However, she changed dramatically when Lloyd questioned her motives as to employment status - employee or independent contractor. She quickly developed a hatred of Lloyd and then for me because I did not accept her view of Lloyd. I think this is why Jane concocted the story that Lloyd “cracked” the security of her Google accounts and deleted emails. This is immaterial to the story of our marriage, but we think it relates to the accusations Jane made about my being an abusive husband.

What is very significant is that Winnie also gave David general power of attorney over her. This was done at a law office in Dunedin, Florida.

Jane stole some of my emails and sent them to David. Among them was at least one encrypted file. No one asked why I had some encrypted email; the reason was that Lloyd and I always encrypt email that has bank account information or computer passwords. This kind of thing is normal in business, but no one asked.

She also reported to David that Lloyd and I had begun making plans to kill Winnie by drowning or poisoning, presumably to gain control of Winnie’s money. I think it is illegal to handle stolen property, in which case David would be complicit in this activity.

About May 15, 2020, Jane told Winnie and me that she was taking Winnie to visit a longtime friend in New Jersey.  I assumed she would return in about a week, and made plans to visit my daughter in Arizona while Winnie was away.  However, I needed to know Winnie’s exact date of return in order to plan my travel, so I asked Jane to provide that information.  Jane would not say, until finally David wrote me by email to say that he had decided to remove Winnie from that “terrible environment.”  

Winnie and I had no idea that there were no plans to return Winnie, so I consider this to be an abduction, not an action permitted by David’s power of attorney.  At 95 years of age, I needed living assistance myself, so my planned visit to my daughter in Arizona became an indefinite stay.

Later I found out that Jane had convinced two of Winnie’s longtime women friends that I was not only an abusive husband, but also that my son and I were plotting to kill Winnie to take control of her money!  I believe these friends were instrumental in convincing David to have Winnie removed.  Eventually both of these women recanted and apologized to me for believing this and for being part of Winnie and my separation.

Although David probably acted out of a sincere desire to protect Winnie, in my opinion it was absolutely wrong to take action unilaterally.  For cases of marital abuse, there are social workers who will investigate and report.  Understandably perhaps, David didn’t bother with any of this.

It was in late May, while I was living in Arizona with my daughter, that David made reference to pending divorce. Of course, from his language I suspected it, but it was just a day or two later that I was served with the court document.

In the end, I did not contest the divorce.  I knew that Winnie had been maliciously brainwashed into believing the marriage was broken, but to prove that would, at the very least, require that Winnie be declared incompetent.

It’s noteworthy that the basic reason given for the divorce was that the marriage was supposedly “broken beyond repair.” This was absolutely not the case.  I found Winnie always sweet and loving. We always embraced in bed, and at least once each day we declared our love for each other. The following two snapshots were taken by Jane only a week or two before Winnie was taken from me. I was lying on the sofa because I had not slept well the previous night.

Was this a broken marriage?